Seeking...?

from Postcards From The Edge

by Carrie Fisher

For years I went to hookers, because, let's face it, I'm a very successful producer and writer, and I'm thinking of directing--- Columbia really wants me to do a picture for them and direct it, and I feel it's the right time. I mean, I'm certainly developing films I feel I could direct. There's this one about high school that--- Anyway, I've been doing this for a while now, and people might like me for my money. So I figured, if someone's gonna like me for my money, it might as well be a hooker, who's gonna like me for my money anyway. There was this girl, though. I don't know that we were in a committed relationship, but we went out for a while. But, you know, I saw other people. It's hard for me to... I don't know why, I think... When you grow up the way I did, maybe. ..

It's not that I have an intimacy problem. I just don't want to be intimate. I don't see the point. I mean, I'm very involved in my career and It's not really that I don't want to be intimate. I don't want to be committed.

I don't know, I suppose that's finally just an excuse. My lawyer says I am afraid of any real involvement. He lives with a girl, and it just looks like, what's the point? I don't really know what the point is. I love sex, don't get me wrong. One could even go so far as to say I'm compulsive about sex. I mean, I hope you don't think I'm blunt--- I'm sort of known for my bluntness--- but, you know, I'd like to have sex with you. I mean, you seem like someone who'd be great to have sex with...

Anyway, I'd like to want a relationship, because everybody else does and it looks nice.