Houlihan

from M*A*S*H, the series

by Larry Gelbart

Margaret: You're in The Army and The Army means discipline. ONCE just once couldn't you be honest with me? Last night was just another joke; just another lie to Major Houlihan. 

Maybe you think I don't trust you?  Well do you trust ME? You act like I'm the enemy. Last night, if you'd asked permission, I would have said no.  Not because it was against regulations but because of the rotten way you've treated me.

Did you ever show me any kind of friendship? Ask my help with a personal problem?  Include me in one of your little bull sessions?  Can you imagine what it feels like to (almost loosing it) to walk by this tent and hear you all laughing and know that I'm I'm not welcome? Did you ever once offer me a lousy cup of coffee? What did you think I wouldn't accept?

Well, you were wrong!