Alex Resisting Darryl's Advances

from The Witches Of Eastwick

by Michael Cristofer

 

Alex: Are you trying to seduce me?  Well, I have to admit that I appreciate your directness, Darryl, and I will try to be as direct and honest with you as I possibly can be.

I think... no, I am positive that you are the most unattractive man I have ever met in my entire life.  You know, in the short time we've been together you have demonstrated every loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones.  You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell.  You're not even interesting enough to make me sick.

Good-bye, Darryl, and thank you for a lovely lunch.