Conspiracy

from Tales of the Lost Formicans

by Constance Congdon

(Jerry, a rabid conspiracy theorist, offers his own perspective on lunar landings)

First off, they get a warehouse -- doesn't have to be all that big. Say, about the size of a Safeway. And the first thing they do is spray the walls and the ceilings flat black. And then they bring about thirty loads of number ten gravel and they cover the floor with it. And then a couple, three loads of retaining wall rock -- you know the size I mean, about as big as my fist -- and they sprinkle that over this base of gravel. Now, you know they've made some mounds here and there, so the floor isn't completely flat. They hang some lights from the girders and set up some big spots, and they got a control booth in the corner.

Then, they bring in the machines -- the Lunar Lander and the L.E.M. And that's when they set up the cameras, shout "Action!" and make the movie. Then, they print it in black and white on crummy film in slow motion and pipe it onto all the television sets. And whammo! All the world sees a man land on the moon and plant the American flag.

I mean, "Moon rocks?" Really...

And don't talk to me about Voyager...!  They have a ride at Disney World better than that!

Think about it.