Big Clock

from Monologues that Kick Ass

by David-Matthew Barnes

Rindy, an extroverted and thrill-seeking eighteen-year-old, is giving her best friend a makeover. During the process, she confesses about the wild night she has spent with her boyfriend. Rindy lives in a small town in the South.

RINDY: I spent the night at Tommy’s last night. I pray to God my mother doesn’t find out. She hates Tommy. If she knew I was spending the night at his place, she’d probably go all mental and kill us all. But, it was worth it. We didn’t get much sleep, if you know what I mean. That’s why Tommy loves me so much. And I do love him...

As far as intelligence goes, he was cursed. (Beat.) But in other areas… God, I love that man. (Quick pause.)

I have to stop thinking about him and concentrate on your hair or else Jessie will come home and won’t recognize you. You know how I am. We start talking about boys and I just get carried away. (Slightly melodramatic:) My mind starts wandering and I see spots. I get real thirsty, warm, hot. My hands start to shake. All of a sudden, I start to sweat and I get real, real weak.

(Quick pause; unbearable:) God, I miss Tommy. The son-of-a-bitch doesn’t get off work until four o’clock. I’ll die before then.

I gotta tell you, Ali. You know how I hate it when things get all serious and intense and I have to do something crazy just to make everyone laugh?  Well, last night, Tommy looks at me with love and moonlight in his eyes. It was a real movie moment. He says to me, “Rindy, honey, did you enjoy yourself?” So, I rolled over real gently and I stared into his eyes. (Beat.) Then, I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Oh my God, Tommy, you have the biggest clock I have ever seen!”  His alarm clock. It’s huge and it’s got these gigantic digital numbers and they’re blood red.

I swear to you, Alison, I have never seen a clock that big. Not even at Wal-Mart.